The top five ways I maintain my dignity

These don't go in any particular order, but I thought they would be good to share anyway. We're all humans, after all! (Koko the gorilla, this post is not for you.)

• Refusing to add the Snowball Fight application on Facebook.
I've added my fair share of screwy applications, but for some reason, Snowball Fight strikes me as a level of depravity that's just too deep for me to sanction. I hate getting the little red flag in the corner of my screen, which raises my hopes up so high that it probably indicates a severe mental imbalance on my part, only to find out that some dork I went to high school with threw a snowball at me, and if I add this suck ass application, I can annoy all my friends in the same way I was just annoyed. No. No way. Not me. Not Jack Lawrence.

• Only playing "cool" SNES games on my SNES emulator during lectures.
Even though I maybe do have Final Fantasy III, Chrono Trigger, and Tiny Toon Adventures: Wacky Sports Challenge squirreled away somewhere on my laptop's hard drive, the only games I play when pretty girls could be looking over my shoulder are Mario Kart and Tetris.

• Refusing to take a multivitamin if there's a stupid picture on the label.
Sure, I may have gotten a little anemic last month from living on nothing but bags of microwave rice, PB&J sandwiches, and bowls of raisin bran cereal, but at least I didn't open up a bottle of "Active Kids Complete," take out a bright green capsule shaped like a bicycle, and put it in my mouth like some kind of wussy.

• Avoiding Best Buy employees who clearly want to help me find something.
I know exactly where the Pete and Pete box set is, thanks.

• When someone walks into the room, changing the channel just in time for them to not notice I had been watching Gilmore Girls.
Uh. Sorry, what? I was just flipping channels here... oh, monster trucks, that looks good. Okay, now what were you saying?


cool as folk said...

*roots* Tetris! Tetris!

Hahahaha, I hate the snowball applications. Those and the superpoke. Because apparently, a normal poke isn't enough.

LOL, monster trucks > gilmore girls, anyway.

I like the new layout ;D.

Jacklaw said...

Ahaha, the worst part is when poking is the sole way you communicate with someone. You never post on each others' walls. You never see them in real life. Your entire relationship consists of repeated pokes back and forth.

And hey, don't think I was knocking monster trucks or anything with this. It just happened to be the most brutal, grim, explosive, bloody, hateful, loud, manly thing I could think of.

cool as folk said...

The most brutal, grim, explosive, bloody, hateful, loud, manly thing I can think of is Battle Royale. Well maybe not manly but everything else, definitely!

Jacklaw said...

Duuude, you like Battle Royale?! I think I'm ready to move to NYC now.

cool as folk said...

Ahaha YES, I love it!!! The second one is not as great as the first one but awesomeness, nonetheless.

hardlyhearshimself said...

I think Battle Royale should be an approved selection process. Also, I was JUST playing FF3. So awesome.