2.15.2009

One of the most awesome things I have ever seen in my entire life

Let me begin with a little back-story.

My dad, who was one of the most subtly hilarious people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, once discovered an old kung fu movie on TV late at night called Master of the Flying Guillotine. The story was about a kind-hearted kung fu master with only one arm (even though the other arm was clearly visible underneath his shirt in nearly ever scene) who trained his students day in and day out to someday be as great as he. However, in the prequel to Master of the Flying Guillotine, he had apparently smoked a couple of this crazy blind dude's cronies. Unfortunately for the One-Armed Boxer, that crazy blind dude happened to be the Master of the Flying Guillotine, and, as his named suggests, he was really good at flinging this bladed hat thing on a chain that decapitates anything it gets thrown at.

Long story short, there was a scene involving a kung fu tournament, and one of the fighters was a man wearing a bizarre BDSM getup who somehow resembled an Asian version of Hitler. However, since his nipples were exposed by his hilarious costume, he became known to my friends and I as, yes, you guessed it: Titler. Eventually we started using this name to order pizzas.

The other day, my friend was checking his mail where he goes to college in South Dakota, and he came across what is quite possibly the most awesome thing that I have ever seen. He must have snuck one past the International Pizza Database at some point in his collegiate career, because this was sitting in his mailbox, addressed to his apartment:


I very nearly wept with joy.

Also, this officially opens the floodgates for everyone on Earth using Tyban as the universal fake pizza ordering name! Anyone who reads this now has my permission to use my old alias as their own. Happy ordering, dudes and dudettes!

5 comments:

cool as folk said...

WHOA! Coincidence? I think not!

Jacklaw said...

Exactly! I never knew pizza companies sent coupons addressed to the names you use to order their pizzas, but I'm super excited about someday possibly getting my own Tyban mail

peaitlreiecnia said...

at first, i was thinking what on earth does "Master of the Flying Guillotine" have to do with pizza?

it reminds me of this thing, that these guys in australia, called 'the chasers' did

http://www.istartedsomething.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/al_kyder.jpg

William Olsen said...

I kind of want to correct the inaccuracy here, but I guess no one would care besides myself and maybe Sticky. But he doesnt read this. Good times!

Olivilava said...

i especially heart how you gradually blew the name part up in installments. carry on wayward son!